[The GOLDEN project can be read about HERE. I will be photographing couples married 50+ years, hearing their stories and sharing their wisdom. Have someone you think I should document for this? Drop me a line at: info@edisonphotography.com with the subject "GOLDEN"]

Jose and Maria met at an outdoor dance in their homeland of Portugal when they were only 14 and 16. Maria’s parents had told her “Don’t go dance with the boys”. But… she did and she met Jose! It turns out they lived 6km away from each other – which at that time was a long distance.

Maria worked at a sewing place – and twice a week Jose would come by and see her. Everybody liked him. She was never allowed to go anywhere alone with him until they were married and her Grandma came as a chaperone. Good thing Grandma liked him as it was 5 years of dating until they were married!

Maria talked about how Jose would ride his bike by her house – from 1km away he would start honking his bike horn – and she had learned to tell the difference between his horn sound and other bikes. She always knew when his bike was coming!

In 1954, Jose and Maria were finally married! They were 19 and 21 at this time. They first got married in city hall, and then later in a church. They had a Saturday and Sunday dinner at her family home with about 40 people. It was a celebration from Friday night to Monday!

Two years after they were married, Jose moved to France. It was two years after that before his new bride could join him in France. There was no phone and mail took about 6 months. Hard to imagine that separation now with cell phones and Skype!

These two are a great pair. When I asked them for advice, Maria said “Love the person you’re with.”
Jose responds with “You love me? That makes me so happy. That made my day!”

They talked about when they get mad. They said sometimes you just have to learn to “shut your mouth” and then later talk about it. Maria said if she was “yapping” at him that would put a fire under him, but if she waits then later they cool down and can reach an understanding.

They shared they hold hands “all the time”. They commented how that is something you don’t see too often any more. But they always hold hands when they walk – and later when we went outside I saw that first hand!

They shared that seeing their child or grandchild happy is better than anything. Better than money. They love their family so much. When they see their family they said “life is better”. Maria pulled out countless photos of loved ones to share. What a treasure!

Love how these two care for each other – straightening each other up for their photos outside.

Once we had taken a few photos Jose said “Can I kiss her now?” Yes. You absolutely can.

Celebrating life and love,

Krista

[The GOLDEN project can be read about HERE. I will be photographing couples married 50+ years, hearing their stories and sharing their wisdom. Have someone you think I should document for this? Drop me a line at: info@edisonphotography.com with the subject "GOLDEN"]

I didn’t plan to document Leonard and Helen, but while photographing their grandson’s wedding I met them and just fell in love with them! During the reception, I asked if I could sit down with them just for a couple of minutes and chat about their love story over the last 58 years. So this one is a bit different than the other GOLDEN posts as it is not at their home – but at a wedding.

Leonard moved to Canada from Ireland when he was 17 when his dad was hired to work on the Avro Arrow. When he had been in Canada only 3 days, he met Helen’s father at church. Having also been Irish immigrants, the families had a bond. Her dad invited Leonard’s family over after church. Leonard said he went downstairs to watch television – he didn’t have a TV so this was exciting. When he went down Helen and her three sisters were sitting on a couch. I asked why he singled out Helen. He said very matter-of-factly “she was a redhead.”

Since we were at a beautiful wedding while chatting, I asked them if their wedding was similar. They laughed. They said they think it cost $1.25/plate at that time for their Toronto wedding.

When I asked them what advice they would give to their grandson or “secrets” to staying together happily so long they had some good insight. They said there is a lot of ups and downs in life and you just have to learn to weather them together. They thought that is where the breakups happen when hard times come and they don’t handle the tough times together. Helen said that things will always get better. It’s never “always” bad. These two have known their share of hard times, having lost a daughter ten years prior who had a lifetime of health concerns. They both agreed that sickness cane make or break a couple. Leonard and Helen both also thought that having Faith is important and helped get them through a lot of their tough times.

Leonard and Helen both had parents that were married right to the end and that example of sticking together made an impact on them. Life wasn’t easy as immigrants – but their parents were committed to each other and their example was helpful for their children’s marriages also.

I love sitting and chatting with these two – but since it was their grandson’s wedding didn’t want to keep them long. Before I left for the evening I was able to capture a few images of them on the dance floor enjoying each other’s company. When I left – they were still up dancing!

Celebrating life and love,

Krista

I have been trying for several weeks to get together with Dick and Nancy as part of this Golden Project – but each time we go to meet one of us are sick or the weather doesn’t cooperate. Finally Friday everything was set to meet! I arrived at their condo where I was to meet their granddaughter – and checked my messages. There was a message saying Dick wasn’t feeling well and not up to it. Oh no! But then the next message was – if you’ve already left, let’s go ahead anyways! And so we did. I didn’t expect Dick to talk much, but right from the string, firm handshake when I arrived he had this twinkle in his eye. He corrected Nancy’s story and laughed along with us. And at the end they thanked us for a fun morning down memory lane. I’m so glad we went ahead!

Dick and Nancy’s story starts during World War ll. Nancy is from the town of Irvine, Scotland. Dick was a Canadian soldier. Nancy and her girlfriends were crossing over a bridge one day in the fall of 1943, when some soldiers crossed and were making rude comments to the girls. The girls kept walking and saw another group of soldiers – Nancy was dreading passing them also. Then she noticed they were Canadian! One of them was Dick, and he said to his friends “let’s stop these girls.”

I asked Dick why he wanted to stop the girls. “Just wanted to pick up a girl” came his quick response.

Nancy had a hat with a veil over her face that day. As they went for a drink, she asked him “How come you asked me when you couldn’t see my face?”

Dick’s honest response was, “I seen your legs.”

They saw each other for 6 weeks before Dick had to go back to war.

(Here Nancy is showing me where she and Dick met for the first time)

They wrote back and forth for the next year until one day Nancy got the telegram no one ever wants to receive.

Dick had been wounded and was not expected to live.

Nancy’s parents would not let her go to him in the hospital. He spent 3 months in the hospital and it was 6 months before Nancy could see him again. His first leave after the hospital, Dick and Nancy got engaged. They inscribed the date of the engagement on her ring – she did not want it to be for the real date of November 13, 1944 as 13 is unlucky… so they chose two days before which was a day of celebrating around the world as it was the day the war ended. November 11, 1944!

They were married in Scotland in 1945. Dick’s family had never met Nancy – but he said his mother was “pretty pleased” because he was one of four boys and she always wanted a girl. When I asked them about their wedding they both started to laugh.

Dick says while laughing, “Never a wedding like ours in a million years.”

Nancy had to continually keep changing the date of the wedding as she was trying to coordinate it with both Dick and her brother getting a leave from the war to come. Dick jokes that she was more concerned her brother got to the wedding than if he did! Finally the day was set.

Because everything was rationed during the war, it was challenging planning a wedding. Nancy had ordered some steak for the wedding – but then realized without an icebox and not certain that Dick could in fact make it – she had to cancel the order again. When he did in fact come on the wedding day – she went to town in her curlers (on her wedding day!!) to find food for the celebration. She had some coupons for candy. And when she ran into an old acquaintance and he asked her what she was doing – she said “I’m getting married today!”. He offered her candy as well. So she had nice fruit and candy at the wedding.

Nancy borrowed her wedding dress – and was actually the third bride to wear it!

They had the wedding in their hime and the neighbours offered baking. There was one taxi and they had to cram everyone into it. The photographer in town was busy so they had the photographer’s apprentice and had two photos taken. Two. As a photographer I gasped when I Heard only two photos taken. But then they showed me the most beautiful, timeless photo. Two was all they needed.

They have it hung in their bedroom and Nancy told me she looks at it every single night before she goes to sleep.

Dick had 11 day leave before he had to go back to his troop. Then he had to return to Canada without Nancy as the ships were only allowed so many war brides each trip. It was 10 months before Nancy’s turn came to come to Canada.

She talked about the week’s passage across the ocean and how excited she was to see the lights in Halifax. From there it was a train ride to Toronto and then on to Hamilton. It was midnight before she got to Hamilton. She was the last one off the train. nancy told us how she had on a black and white tartan and a white blouse. Her mom had told her to tuck the collar in on the blouse until she got there and then turn it out and it would still look fresh.

I said to Dick that she must have looked good to him after all that time. He got this slow grin across his face. “She sure did.”

Nancy was quick to say they didn’t have a perfect marriage but that they were committed. You “pick each other up and keep going.” And if you stick with it, you’ll find “a stronger love than you had in the beginning. And a closeness.”

Dick piped up. “Love is something that grows.”

Nancy added “Deeper and stronger as it grows.”

Then the wisdom just started to flow out. They had so much to offer from their 69 years of experience.

“Be open with each other and be there for each other.”

“Perservere and be committed to each other.”

“Every night we tell each other we love each other. We read our Bibles. And we pray.”

Nancy shared part of a favourite verse that has helped in their marriage… “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other”

On their 50th and 60th anniversaries Dick and Nancy renewed their vows with friends and family. They had a big celebration – and what a reason to celebrate!

When I asked Nancy her wedding date – she said Ground Hogs Day. With a laugh she adds “he stuck his nose out of the ground, I hit him over the head and said ‘you’re mine!’”

Nancy has some favourite quotes written out she likes to share with people when writing wedding or anniversary cards – she shared them with me.

“Three kinds of love.
Love that takes
Is the love that breaks.
Love that ties
Is the love that dies.
Love that gives
Is the love that lives.”

And when I left – I left not only with a happy heart full of stories and love, but also fresh baked banana bread! Yum!

Throughout the whole time together Nancy kept saying, “We have been so blessed. So blessed.” Wishing them many, many more blessings – and thankful for them blessing us with this gift of their experience and knowledge.

Celebrating life and love,

Krista

[The GOLDEN project can be read about HERE. I will be photographing couples married 50+ years, hearing their stories and sharing their wisdom. Have someone you think I should document for this? Drop me a line at: info@edisonphotography.com with the subject "GOLDEN"]

When we sat down at the kitchen table at John and Margaret’s home to chat about life and marriage we enjoyed some casual talk until Marg cut to the chase.

“So, what do you want?” she says to me. Love it. I explained how I wanted to hear their story, and any wisdom they learned along the way.

I started by asking what is their wedding anniversary date.

“April 24, 1948.” Marg was quick to reply.

John pulled out his “blackberry” as Marg jokingly referred to it – a well worn and used notebook – from his shirt pocket and one of his beloved pens he collects. “What was that date again?” he asked and wrote it down. Marg laughed heartily and the ice was broken.

John and Marg have not only been married for 65 years, they’ve also lived in the same house for over 50 years (since 1960). Their house is filled with stories and memories and I loved being invited in to enjoy them.

Many years ago, friends of theirs set them up on a date. John said he suggested they go swimming in the river for their first date. Marg was quick to add “That was the most ridiculous thing I’d heard in my life!” Turns out John did in deed swim on that first date, while Marg watched. His spunk must have won her over though because it wasn’t long before they were item.

They didn’t have much money then and no car, so every where they went was by walking. They would walk down town and go to a show or spend hours window shopping at Simpsons or Eaton’s. They might go to a restaurant – a simple lunch counter – for a bite to eat. They said this simple lifestyle was “just normal” and they didn’t expect anything more.

I loved how they spoke of education. Even though John did not have a lot of formal education, and Marg had to take time off of school to help the family – they added that they have “studied all of our lives.”

Marg pulled out a wedding photo, and we talked about their wedding. Their wedding was small. Only family – their parents and siblings were in attendance. They married in the church, and then went to a restaurant for dinner.

While talking about their small wedding, Marg adds that was common then. There weren’t big weddings. “Having a big wedding doesn’t make it last.”

I asked what advice they had for people newlywed – or just earlier in their marriage journey.

Know the other person really well. Don’t just jump in. Or in the words of Marg, “you make darn sure that you know that person.” They thought people sometimes rush into a marriage – instead they thought you should take your time and really get to know the person you are planning to spend forever with.

They thought the most important thing though was respect. Respecting the other person.

“They have a role. And you have a role. And you need to both be able to do your roles together.”

And it’s important to have lots of interests. Until recently Marg enjoyed tai chi, yoga and more – enjoying a very active lifestyle. As we spoke it was obvious she knew what each of her children, and grandchildren were doing and involved in. Family is clearly very important to her.

John has a passion for collecting things. He is an extremely talented refinisher and their home is furnished with beautiful antiques he has acquired and refinished. John showed me some of his collections – pens, watches, pins, photographs, artwork – I loved hearing the history and significance of every piece.

Marg is a tremendous cook – we enjoyed homemade soup, warm biscuits, and apricot bread for dessert! What a treat!

After all these years – one last piece of advice they gave is sometimes, when things get rough, you just need to stick it out.

Watching these two interact so naturally – laughing and being so comfortable together, it’s clear we are all glad they “stuck it out” and have enjoyed each other’s company so long!

Celebrating life and love,

Krista

[The GOLDEN project can be read about HERE. I will be photographing couples married 50+ years, hearing their stories and sharing their wisdom. Have someone you think I should document for this? Drop me a line at: info@edisonphotography.com with the subject "GOLDEN"]

Lee and Norma Jean met each other at a house party around 1947. Their group of friends would regularly all get together at someone’s home, push back the living room furniture and have a square dance! Whoever could play an instrument would provide the music for the group. They enjoyed each other’s company so much that night, that Lee drove Norma Jean home. He invited her to a show, and they dated for the next five years.

Lee and Norma Jean had a small wedding with about 35 guests in 1952. They got married in the church and then had a reception outside at a family home with food and the wedding cake all made by relatives. I asked if they wished they had a big, fancy wedding to which they replied “It isn’t about the wedding”. It’s the marriage that lasts after all!

They said that they thought all young people should watch the TV show “To Debt Do us Part” as credit cards break a lot of people. People go overboard today and make too much money they think. It makes people selfish. I loved Lee and Norma Jean’s simple lifestyle and philosophy.

Norma Jean shared how she was so excited about having her own home after they got married. Her father had passed away when she was 14 and she had lived with extended family and not known a home of her own since that time. Lee and her bought a farm that they moved into when they married in 1952. They laughed as they remembered how bare the house was when they bought it. They had to finish the barn before the house renovations as the farm was their income. Then over time each room in the house got redone but it took many, many years to do. They both felt that it’s too bad that young people these days start out with everything right from the beginning. “That’s where you get life’s lessons. It’s why you appreciate what you have!”

When they were first married Norma Jean had never made a meal before – her granddaughter who was with us was shocked by this as she’s known as a great cook now. Norma Jean explained it was a lot of trial and error and she was taught by Lee’s mom and aunt also. She also had never milked cows before – and hated chickens! – but as a farmer’s wife she had to learn to do it all. And the two of them worked together on chores and around the farm. Even when their children were young – Norma Jean would bring the kids to the barn with her, and she said sometimes they were crying and yelling right along with the cows but she had to finish her work. In those farm days it felt like all they did was sleep and work – and you didn’t sleep long as you had to be up at 5am! They sold the farm in 1975 but still wake up at 5am even now!

Even during those long farming days, they always made time for friends and fun. They would get together with friends at one of their homes 2-3 times a week. They would all bring something for dinner, and they’d play cards and have fun. The kids would play until they fell asleep, and then around midnight they’d carry them to the car to head home. They had no TV at this time – “Television is what ruined life!”

They had some paintings around their apartment that a family member had painted of their property at the farm. Beautiful keepsakes of a happy time in their lives.

Even though Lee is 89, both he and Norma Jean are still so active. They babysit their great grandchildren occasionally. Lee loves driving – and they shared with me about a great day they had the week before going out for a drive to a town about an hour away. They went out for lunch, shopped and walked around the mall to get some exercise indoors during this bitter, cold winter. A great day out they both agreed. Most of their couple friends have passed on, but they have one friend who is 90 they enjoy playing cards with a couple times a month and try to go out with about once a month. Lee likes to go to the coffee hour at their seniors apartment building and socialize with his friends there. I commented on his great laugh and Norma Jean said that’s why they love having him come to the coffee hour!

Norma Jean had a big basket of knitting at her feet I asked her about. She casually mentioned she likes to knit. Her granddaughter was there and I got the story of Norma Jean’s knitting skills from her. Norma Jean at age 84, knits layettes for St. Joseph’s hospital – hats, booties, mitts and a blanket for newborns at the hospital. She knits all year and then delivers them once a year. She also knit 24 pairs of slippers for the Ronald McDonald House last year. And she knit for a local women’s shelter too! She was so thrilled with the handwritten thank you card from the shelter. “It makes it all worthwhile” she said.

Lee and Norma Jean shared how they do everything together. They work as a team and enjoy each others company.

As we finished our visit Lee said “Do the best you can as long as you can.” And they said they have lived with “no regrets. I could die tomorrow and I’d be happy.” Definitely lives well lived!

Celebrating life and love,

Krista

[The GOLDEN project can be read about HERE. I will be photographing couples married 50+ years, hearing their stories and sharing their wisdom. Have someone you think I should document for this? Drop me a line at: info@edisonphotography.com with the subject "GOLDEN"]

Art and Betty I call Grandma and Grandpa Daniels. They’re not my grandparents but they are my sister-in-law’s grandparents. I remember when my brother and sister-in-law got engaged they said “we’re family now!” and that’s how it seems.

I don’t see them often – usually once or twice a year at family birthday parties. In 2011 at a birthday party I explained to them I wanted to photograph them. They laughed. Fast forward a year. In 2012, I saw them at my nephew’s birthday and told them I still wanted to photograph them. They laughed. Then I thought why wait? And pulled out my camera. They stopped laughing and realized I was serious!

Meet Art and Betty.

When I posted on Facebook a sneak peek stating that their pictures were coming up on the blog – I started getting comments from grandkids, friends of their kids, friends of their grandkids and people who’ve ever met them. The comments went something like this… “Love these two” “They’re the best” “I love them.” “Greatest couple! Just love them!” “A very special couple!”” They are pretty awesome.” and so on.

So what better couple to start my GOLDEN project with?

I first photographed them back in August of 2012 – very unplanned at a chaotic kid birthday party. Conversation was limited as kids were running around and noise levels were loud. So, I went back to them this week and asked if we could continue our conversation. I thought we’d have a quick chat today – two hours later I had to pull myself away. I could sit and listen to their stories all day!

Art and Betty had photos everywhere in their home of their kids, grandkids and great grandkids. Betty loves to talk about her family and can fill you in on what every single one of them is up to and doing in their lives.

Art has these incredible cross stitch pictures he has created – real works of art! He took up cross stitching after he retired – and they have three beautiful pictures in their living room framed. He explained that there is one for each of his three children and they can fight over who gets which picture themselves.

When we sat down, Betty said in her cheeky way “well we better sit on the same couch and be all romantic.”

Their story goes back over several decades. Art and Betty are now 86 and 88 and met when they were in grade school. When we talk about their days at school Betty exclaims “Oh! I did not like him at all! He lived on the other side of the tracks you know!”

In 1941, at the age of 15, Art started to work for Betty’s dad in the used furniture business. Betty explained that during World War II people couldn’t buy new furniture. This lead to reminiscing about the war… and the day they announced it was over and how exciting that was!

We talked about how they started dating. Once a week they use to all pile in the back of a truck and go to the show. It cost 22cents to get in at the time. They all went and payed their own way. One day one of the guys who could tell Art and Betty were starting to be interested in each other said “Betty – make Art pay your way!” And after that he did – paying her way to the show every week and spending his whole wages to do so.

When Betty was 14 they went on their first date. It was “firecracker day” (the Victoria day holiday) and Art took her to see the fireworks. But – Betty’s parents didn’t trust them to go alone so their friend had to go with them also!

On June 26, 1948 they were married. If you’re doing the math… that’s 66years this June! It was a beautiful wedding with the reception in the family’s backyard. Betty’s mom and her friends set up tables in the backyard and made sandwiches for people to eat. I asked what their wedding budget would have been – they said $50 would have been more than enough! At that time Art was making $19 a week with a $25 bonus at the end of the month.

They reminisced about their early days… about how poor they were. As they shared about the early, hard days they laughed. It’s interesting to see how fondly they remembered the days when they went without. After the war it was hard to get a place to live and necessities like a fridge. Art and Betty’s first year of marriage was in an apartment where they shared a fridge and a washroom with the other tenant – Art’s brother Fred who married Betty’s sister Doris! It cost $40 a month for rent.

Art and Betty lived on a very strict budget. They have never gone into debt or paid interest on a credit card. They would make a grocery list – with the items they needed on the top, and then a separate list on the bottom of the items they wanted if they had money left over.

As Betty talked about how tight things were financially in the early days she said, “We never regretted it.”

I asked if they had any advice for a newlywed couple. What they wish they could tell themselves back in 1948 or someone else just starting out on the journey of marriage. They offered some GOLDEN nuggets of wisdom.

“The biggest thing is communication… but it took me a long time to learn it.”

I asked them what exactly should be communicated.

“Talk things over.” “Admit you’re wrong.” “We even have fights now at our age but we talk about it.” “Always make up.”

And as well as communicating – is learning when NOT to communicate.

“Learn to keep your mouth shut. Walk away. Count to ten.”

“There was rough years for sure. But we couldn’t afford to break up!”

“It’s not easy. We are learning all the time how important all this is.”

Art added that learning to “give and take” is so important.

“You can’t do what you want all the time. It has to be give and take.” “How long did it take us to learn that?” [Laughter] “Oh… about 60 years.”

Art and Betty – thanks for sharing your story!

Celebrating life and love,

Krista

I’ve been kicking around a personal photo project that I’d like to do for years now. I started photographing for it a year and a half ago – but didn’t want to share until I had everything done and had photographed enough people and… and… and….

Well, a new year means new beginnings. And one thing I’m working on this year is DOING rather than just talking about doing. So folks, let me introduce you to my GOLDEN project. I’m so excited to share it with you.

A bit of an intro…

I remember a night a few years ago so vividly. I was coming home late at night from photographing a wedding. I had witnessed the couple so in love vow their forevers to each other. They held hands. They laughed. They cried tears of joy. They looked with starry eyes as they walked out of the ceremony only seeing their happily ever after. I was still smiling as I drove home.

(Now – I need to add a disclaimer here. I’m a bit of a nerd. Instead of music, I always listen to talk radio in my car. Either 680 news or 1010 talk. Please don’t judge. Anyhow, I digress.)

On this particular summer evening, I turned on the news and listened to the horrifying statistics of divorce. Of marriages that did not end in happily ever after.

The contrast of the beauty of that day’s wedding, and the cold hard facts was like a slap across my face. I may have even gasped out loud from the sting of the hit.

I’ve been married 17 years and I’ll be the first to admit it’s not always easy. I adore my husband and am baffled he sticks with me… but sometimes it is in fact work and not roses, unicorns and rainbows.

My mind drifted to my grandparents and parents generations. All the people I know and have met who have been married 40, 50, 60+ years. I wondered what they knew that I don’t. That the couple who had just promised forever to each other might not yet know.

And so it began.

The GOLDEN project was born.

I started to document couples married fifty years or more and just hear their stories. Watch them interact. Soak in their wisdom. One thingI’ve noticed – pretty much all of them don’t think they have the answers and think they’ve still got lots to learn. Lifelong learners of love. I like that.

So, over the next while I will begin to share these stories and images with you in hopes that someday it’ll be your GOLDEN story being documented. To find these stories check back under the category “GOLDEN” on the blog… bring some tissues and an open heart too.

I’m just preparing to share my first couple later this week. Warning – you will adore them.

Celebrating life and love,

Krista